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Dating techniques
Dating can be a daunting experience. When meeting a person and trying to connect with them we naturally want to show off our best aspects. This is harder for some than others. With a wide range of self help books and courses on offer claiming to be the ultimate solution to your dating problems, suggesting everything from dressing flamboyantly to simply ‘being yourself’, how can we be sure of the right things to do?
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15 million people in the UK are currently estimated to be single. Half of these people are looking for a long-term relationship.
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Four is the average number of dates each of them will have in one year.
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43% of people Google their first date before they meet them.
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One in five people marry a co-worker. Half of all workplace romances are over within three months.
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In one study, 70% of college students deemed an instructor physically attractive when he acted in a friendly manner, while only 30% found him attractive when he was cold and distant. Indeed, when surveyed for attributes in selecting a mate, both males and females felt kindness and an exciting personality were more important in a mate than good looks. To a certain degree, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.
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Statistics show that people still claim to look for a good personality in a partner.
And it is found that men are more interested in women with high self-esteem, positive outlook towards life and also those who are intelligent.
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Biological Anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher has scanned the brains of people who had fallen recently fallen in love and has proved that parts of the brain 'light up' and argues that romantic passion is hardwired into our brains, it is not an emotion but a drive, just like hunger.
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There are four types of people each determined by chemical levels in body.
Directors (more testosterone), Negotiator (more estrogens), Explorers (more dopamine), Builder (more serotonin).
Directors are attracted to negotiators and vice verse, proving that opposites attract.
But builders are attracted to builders and explorers to explorers proving that birds of a feather flock together.
The idea that these chemical levels are passed on genetically suggests it may be pre determined as to who we will find attractive.
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References:
Guardian guide to dating: The statistics.
Serendip: Symmetry? Could this be the answer to the age old question; Whats is beauty?
Helen Fisher: The Brain In Love
WHY WE LOVE: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
(Henry Holt, 2004)
Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love
(Henry Holt, January 2010)
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